The Sign

As a small child, probably seven or eight years old, I remember writing a prayer that I would say every night. Over the years it became rote recital of the same words and sentences, almost like listing off the beads on a rosary. At the end of my “recital” I would tack on any new thoughts or concerns that was pertinent to that particular time in my life. But the first seven or eight sentences were always the same….. the second sentence being “please let MawMaw live to be 103”. Don’t ask me why the number 103 appealed to me at the age of seven. Maybe because it seemed so remote to a young child. Maybe because it was an odd number that you never heard mentioned when speaking of how old someone lived to be. Maybe even then God was hinting at the future. But whatever the reason that second sentence never changed.

Over the years I would sometimes catch myself calculating how many more years were left if MawMaw did live to be 103. Initially there were a lot of years. So many that I didn’t even worry about it. As the years rolled by and I became 20…. and then 30….. and then 40… the year 103 became not so distant. And as we aged together we took on different roles over the years. We loved, we lost, we grieved. But we always did it together. My grandmother showing much more grace and faith than I could ever begin to understand, much less display.

And then February 26, 2014 came and went and my entire world was forever changed. My belief in people, in society and especially in my religious faith was greatly challenged and skewed. I stopped saying the prayer that I had said since childhood. And when habit would take over at times before going to sleep I would stop myself from finishing because really what was the point. But I struggled with that too. So one night about a year ago I said a different prayer. A simple prayer…. “I need a sign.”

                                And then I waited… and waited.

And during this time my grandmother had her 102nd birthday. She was just as opinionated and stubborn as she was when I was seven. And as my faith faltered she remained steadfast.

It wasn’t until a few months ago that I realized my sign was sitting right in front of me. My grandmother who had been so many things to me – grandmother, educator, confidant, driver’s ed, botanist, theologian, historian, comforter, disciplinarian, motivator, best friend and ….. my sign.

                         The little girl who had prayed thousands of times to

                 “please let MawMaw live to be 103” received what she had asked for.

So Happy Birthday MawMaw!! Thank you for being the best grandmother to me and my children that anyone could ask for.  And thank you for being my sign.  Reviving my belief and reassuring me that Christian will never be alone.

And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive.    Matthew 21:22